illusion~

sick of this crap.

2010-10-14T14:09:00.003+08:00

I've had enough, going to a better place.

Find me?
click here.

Prolly never coming back.

sing your hearts out;

2010-10-11T13:49:00.002+08:00

Funny looking cupcakes-the last ones we'll ever get to make.

Okei, this just proves how shiny the ovens in the Home Econs are!

*sigh* its coming to the last of everything. Those up there are from the LAST Home Econs lesson we'll ever get to take. It was an enjoyable time(beat Darren in HE!). Really thank God that i had such a nice teacher like Ms Tan:D

Lit paper today. Kinda harrdD: Stupid Stupid macbeth! "Hail Macbeth! Thou shalt be king thereafter!" See! The quotes are still stuck in my brain up till now!!

PFFT (. . .)

Anyone wanna go to the Night Safari-Halloween thingy? I'm dying to go. Missed it last year.

KKz. Think this is enough for today. Needa revise for tmr's (hopelessly hopeless) science paper. CMI CMI CMI!

have a sudden craving for chomp chomp!

Whataya Want From Me??

2010-10-09T16:11:00.002+08:00

i think she's SO preeetty:D

I feel like i'm staying inside a cage-.- Feels like crap. I just wanna get OUT. Don't wanna stay in this place. It reeks of the word Judgemental.

Pfft(. . .)

Like, seriously? I've had enough of this crap. I'll seriously slap the next person on the face that tries to talk to me about "TRUST".

I'M PEEVED TO THE MAX.

13 years and counting♥

2010-10-06T16:30:00.002+08:00

only you understand me the best(:

Sometimes, even though theres one person that understands you the best, even he/she can't understand what you're going through.

And sometimes, you may be surrounded by people who love you and treat you like family. But ever they are having their own troubles. Everyone's just screaming silent screams. Harbouring futile hopes that someone would be able to hear them. Or at least go through what their going though so that they can hug each other and cry and know they've got support.

But no one hears. Its like a living hell. Everyone's wrapped up in their own pain and sorrows that they don't feel or hear others.

If everyone were to stop and listen for awhile, then maybe we'd understand this world a lil' better.

Please, this world's not about you. Grow up!

feeling like a depressed chicken;

2010-09-30T15:25:00.003+08:00

i pray it'll pass soon,
Hello, today was the start of the actual shit. Yep, its advanced paper today.
EL and CL paper 1. Kinda screwed the CL paper big time. Forgot to write the question number and didn't manage to finish writing the newspaper report for CL.

Urgh. Left like a few words to write. Darn. Some invigilator, huh? Can't you see that there are still students writing their butts off just to finish it? A few more minutes would do us good. Pfft(. . .)

Tmr's Geog and EL paper 2. YAY? A1 A1 Jingyi!!
I hope that tmr won't be as screwed as today.

moving in;

2010-09-22T16:05:00.003+08:00

Howdy.

Today, we moved to a new home called 5N1 classroom. So, it was kinda last minute thing. Cos we haven't even started newspaper reading when DM said over the mic "2N1, i think you have to go to your classroom now." Didn't really know what happened(semi conscious, you see.) but when i saw the class standing up i followed suite. It was only until we reached the class that i remembered: We're moving.

Anyway, its great to know that Rachel's back. Kinda envy her for being able to sit in a wheelchair and NOT do p.e. The new classroom was very very dusty though. Could feel a layer of dust at table i'm currently using. Eeeew.

THENTHEN, since there was no one to sit with Cheryl L, i decided to move over and i realised that by sitting in front, i can actually concentrate a HELL LOT MORE. Which is a good thing, right? Then, got back the electricity class test and got a pass:D 19/29 babeh! Quite pleased with myself:D

Was supposed to meet Steph today, but she cancelled our "date" at the last min.): aww, steph! Was looking forward to seeing her all week. Pfft(. . .)

SO anyway, we didn't have cohort learning today which is kinda good i guess:D But that also made me lose my 1hr nap timeD: Pfft...

THENTHENTHEN, after school, walao, that blardy _________ kicked the soccer ball and it went BAM on my face. Like, blardy pain can?? Arsehole. Went to the toilet with Cheryl L to wash the dirt off my face. Came back fighting the urge to give that arsehole a tight slap and make him feel how pain i felt. Tsk. Left the school immediately after that accident because i don't wanna get hit on the face another time.

To that arsehole, better be lucky that you didn't break my specs! Because if you did, i'll probably burn you alive. There're 3 most important items to me in this world:
1. My specs
2. My phone
3. Greentea
So areshole, better thank God you didn't break it!

Urgh! Seriously! And me and Cheryl L was talking about how awesome it must be for the boys now that they have an open space to play football after school. Yeah, how AWSOME eh??._.

Blardy arsehole.

Oh, i think i've died from exm feverr..

so what? i don't give a damn.

2010-09-18T15:55:00.002+08:00

Urgh, i'm seriously mad now. Don't yo hate it when you wanna tell someone off but you can't because he/she is older than you? Or when you wanna tell the whole world who that person is but you can't because that person'll sue you?

"Respect is something you earn, not something that you can buy or force out of a person".

I'd like to add this: REGARDLESS OF AGE. Yes, i'm more than peeved.

Morning was fine, but after that, it was pretty much f-ed up. I mean, hello, we're teens already. We're not the students you see at the place you work. We're not 10 year olds running about. We're fourteen and we THINK FOR OURSELVES! Who are you to correct us on our attire? You're not our FT. In fact, i'm embarrassed to know you. You forced me into this. I didn't have a choice. You think you're awesome? I'd very much like to knock some sense into your head. For goodness sake, you, most certainly are NOT even close to AWESOME.

Y'know, you're not even in my "most hated list". You don't deserve to. Sometimes, i think that you have so much fun till' you actually forgot who you are. Its such a disappointment, really. Authority? Don't come and crap to me about Authority or Respect cos you are in no position to. When i was little, i thought you were OKAY. But now, i see you for who you are. And trust me, my impression of you now, its awful. Oh wait, its WORSE than awful.

Now, i wish that i was NEVER associated with you. I wish, i never even knew you.

everyday is a living nightmare

2010-09-17T21:40:00.002+08:00

i dread waking up every morning. I don't want to live anymore.

exam feverr

2010-09-14T17:13:00.002+08:00

KAYY.
I'm like, stressed ttm.

Gosh, you know, i reallyy miss the hols. Though i was kinda slacking pretty much. But still, i miss waking up at 10 and going to sleep at 1 or later thinking that tmr i get to wake up really really late.

Its kinda painful to drag myself out of bed on Saturdays when you know that the whole house is still sleeping peacefully

( . . . )

Aanyway, P.E was kinda scary today when Rachel fell. Heard she had 17 stitches. And owner couldn't get over her fall and she lost her appetite. Thats gotta hurt like ~~shit~~ fuck for Rachel! But then, the ambulance came to take Rachel to the hospital and its kinda a pity cos i couldn't see the attendant's face. His back view was pre-etty good looking!;D

Its another few more weeks to advanced paper. I'm stressing over the fact that i'm completely hopeless in science. In all 3 sciences! Chem, physics and bio!!

Crap oh crap.

childhood memories;

2010-09-11T15:06:00.002+08:00

Last night, i guess, it was kinda fun. Reminiscing 'bout our pass. It sure seems a lonng time ago now that you mentioned it.

I missed those days. They said that people will change when they get to secondary school. Its sure as hell true! Anyway, last night, it brings back so many memories. I can still remember taking pictures in front of the hotel in Malaysia by a pond when Jonathan dropped in. Funny, wasn't it? Last night we were all "OH OH OH! Remember when Joyce..." Or "EHEHEH! Remember when Nicholas..." Or, "HAHA. Look at the height difference between Matt and Nick now!"

And we talked about our trip to Australia. How we sat on cardboards and slided down a big green hill in a park, how we were so amused when we saw an Emu, or how stupid we looked wearing 3 layers of clothes! I remember waking up to the smell of fresh, green grass (we stayed in a cottage for 3 days) and drove around at night afraid of running over rabbits hopping around..

Good Times, Good Times.

If only times could stay that way.. when we were all happy children under 10 years of age running around happily. Not caring at all.

I remembered how much i enjoyed playing the piano with Joyce(even though she doesn't like playing the piano). Alot of my memories are shared with her. Cos we've done so much together. Sleepovers, choir practices, concert practices..and how much she hated Christmas for a few years cos she had food poisoning for a few christmas and she'll whine to me how upset she is, after practising so hard she couldn't perform and can't enjoy christmas.

When we are young, everyone else seemed like they were good people. But as we grow older, we see them for who they really are. Espeically when you've known the person for a long time. Like wise, if you think that this person is a "bad person" but as you grow older, you think otherwise.

I miss my childhood.

it won't come true.

2010-09-09T12:52:00.002+08:00

It feels like, they're tearing me apart. Making me take sides. Please, i don't care who said what or whatsoever. I just want it all to stop. I want it all to end. Why are we quarrelling amongst ourselves?

And whats worst, you all are dragging people into your problems. Making it OURS. Dragging people that don't even WANT to be involved! Must it really come to this? Weren't you the one that said you all can handle this? Whats happening now?

Its so disappointing. I wish that you all could see how you're affecting others. We all wish to make everything the way its supposed to be. Before all these started.

I don't wanna take sides..

1 more month.

2010-09-08T11:24:00.002+08:00

There's still one more month left before i go to ~~France~~ Shanghai. Don't ask me why i'm not going to France anymore, i just ain't. Sometimes, i really wish that i can squeeze everyone in our clique into a huge luggage and bring them to Shanghai so at least i'll have more people to disturb in the plane(: No lah, not only that.
Everyone'll also get to travel together. Won't that be fun?

Maybe we'll get to do that when we grow up. Hmm, when i grow up, i'll go touring with my friends. Maybe go backpacking in Europe. And i'll stay there so that i won't have to come back and face these bitches and bastards. Okay, fine, maybe not stay in Europe.(High living standard, see.) Anywhere in the world BUT HERE! I don't care if you call me rebellious or whatsoever. This is who i am(:

For once, instead of swallowing up myself in anger and hate, i'll plan my future. Something to look forward to. I'll fly far far away. (When i mean far, i mean further than Malaysia. I dunno Malay. Heh.) I'll still take one step at a time though. I'll start when i'm 18, cos then, i'll be free go wherever i want to go. [And drive!!]

I HATE BPC!

And everything came crashing down;

2010-09-07T16:10:00.004+08:00

I feel like i'm the only one thats gone insane.
Their all lying to me. I know they are.

It feels like as though everything's gone wrong. Like during the last rehearsal, you realised that all the props are wrong, the positions are screwed, the costumes and performers are not prepared.

And the worst part is, you're the only one realising it and when you tell others, they reply, "its all in your head. look, everything's perfect!" Do you feel like as though you've gone insane? Or what you realised is actually true? What if no one believes you and the whole show gets screwed because they didn't believe you?

Maybe, all this is really just in my head.

HUMANOID.

2010-09-06T13:59:00.003+08:00

Judgemental fuckers.

Whats wrong with liking a punk rock band or listening to heavy metal? Neither do i see anything wrong in liking a band with orange hair-ed lead singer or a lead singer with multiple piecrcings!

I'm free to like whatever. You have no right to stop me.

Please, i'm no longer the 8 year old girl that says hi to everyone i see or plays happily in the playground. I've grown up. And that made me see how disgusting all your personalities are. Its made me seen through you. Don't expect me to skip around happily around all you disgusting people.

Tell me, whats wrong with liking something UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT?! I'm not like you. Nor do i like you.

When i grow older, i'll leave this pile of crap. And never get involved with you. I'm 14. I think i can tell the differnce between right and wrong. I think i can see who's wrong and who's right. And most of all, i KNOW what i'm doing.

Resident Evil

2010-09-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

Today, it marks the begining of the September holidays. Yet, i don't have the mood. Why should I? Is there anything for me to feel happy? No. Thought so.

Mornings have been crap so far. They've been crap ever since the EXCO changed the duty lists for class attatch. Maybe cos i've been doing a class for around 8 months? So, when the EXCO suddenly changed it, i dunno, maybe i'm kinda affected by it.

But then again, i don't give a damn. I don't even feel afraid that the VP/P might catch me for standing at the window when that crab eyball-ed and monkeybrain-ed faggot punished me for not doing 2 questions.

Brave? No. Its called not giving a damn.

who are you to judge me?

2010-09-01T14:43:00.004+08:00

Yes, go on. Nag at me. There's less than a month to EOYs and i'm slacking here, blogging, fantasising about meeting Tom and Bill, listening to rock, punk, whatever.

I'M PEEVED.
The sun is shining, its not the least bit cloudy, perfect for a day out. And uh, where am i? Stuck. At. Home. Shit life, no?

Whats the bloody problem about me going out on a school holiday to "de-stress" myself? Its not like i'm not gonna come home. Hey, i know my limits kayy. And its really unfair of you to do think that going to the library with a CHILDHOOD friend is a waste of time. Tsk. What do YOU know about time?

I know i have tuition tonight. So? I'll still come back in time for tuition. What the fuck is your problem? And now you're saying i dunno my priorities? Tsk. Priorities, priorities. I would gladly list them out for you if it meant showing you that i know my limits.

And please, don't judge me. I don't care who you are to me. You can vouch that you know me cos you're my whoever-whoever. Shut that pie hole. You know nothing about me. Whats wrong with liking someone who draws his eyes so dark that you can't even see them and uses tons of hair gel(i think) to style his hair?

Whatever i do, you know. Isn't that too much? You've become so much like a perverted and pshyco stalker. If i were to write it in diaries, you'll read it. You'll hack the lock out of the diary. If i were to type it out, you'll hack yourself into my account.

Talk to you? As if. You fucking DON'T. KNOW. ME. Stop the act. In front of everyone, you pretend to be understanding. Yes, i know, i'm living in an illusion. I'll find my way out of this, one day.

You encourage me to do something i like. Why did you force me to stop learning the piano and hesitated me from learning the guitar from LZ? Those three words, i've been wanting to shout it out so much that it'll be the last thing you ever hear. But i can't. Why? Cos of this "respect" thing.

I don't need those pretty words of yours.

G-POP♥

2010-08-31T19:10:00.005+08:00

Hello, i have decided to update this piece of crap(:
With german blasting into my ears, i sure have alot of inspirations:D

But then, i'm pretty sure you know i'm listening to Tokio Hotel. I'm in a happier mood today cos tonight daddy's coming homee:D

And and, tmr is their birthdayy:D

So, in case i don't get to wish them in time tmr, i'd be a good fan and wish them todayy(:
Happy birthday twins! The music you make is awesome(: Please continue to make MORE awesome music and MORE VIDEOS, AND PLEASE PLEASE DO COME TO SINGAPORE AND GIVE YOUR FANS HERE IN S'PORE A VIP TICKET!! <--on behalf of Daryl too. (Since you like them now, don't you daryl?[:)

Okay, so today was kinda mundane(typical). Had teacher's day celebrations. To kick off the morning, we had circuit run. Punishing, no? THENTHEN, that stupid Sze Siang said i looked cute with the bag cos apparently i was small and the bag was big. ._.[for pete's sake Jing Yi, grow taller won't you?!]

After celebrations, went back to PPS. Eileen accompanied me cos she was waiting for her wifey to release from school. The first teacher i wanted to look for was Mrs Lee Mei Chuen:D miss her loadss. Couldn't find her after walking around the school(which suddenly seemed freaking small).

Then, decided to leave a note for Mrs Lee. After leaving it with the office person, as i walked out of the office, saw Mrs Lee. Hugged her immediately. Guessed my effort writing the note was wasted, huh?
._.

When i reached home, cooked my own lunch(my kitchen wasn't burned down.yay) and started on e learning.

Then, went to visit grandparents. See? I'm so filial:D

I CAN'T WAIT FOR TMR. DADDY'S COMING HOME WITH MY HUMANOID CITY LIVE CONCERT CD!!

Heavy drumbeats-

2010-08-24T17:11:00.005+08:00

Taken with athletes after the game(:

Someone left me real peeved when i left school today. I mean, i'm not gonna nag and all, cos firstly, i'm not old. Secondly, you're sick of hearing, we're sick of saying.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush, i'm just gonna go straight to the point: if you don't wanna be with us or what, just say. We are understanding enough to know that you don't like to be with us. Just say, kayy? Saves all the trouble.

I hate it when people make a mountain out of a molehill, like those stupid Korean Dramas. Its just a storm in a teacup. It can be solved easily. So why cause all these internal dispute? Worse, you tell tall tales to others that are simply like a cock and bull story. I mean, you're not the only one that thought of committing suicide okay? C'mon, we both know that we BOTH slashed our wrist before. I dunno bout you, but i enjoyed the pain. And i believe that there are people that feels the same way we are feelin now.

So, if they can continue living, we can too, rite? Sheesh, are you really SUCH and attention seeker that you seek for attention at the expense of your clique?
Look, to be honest, if you wanna commit suicide, be my guest. Just to let you know, if you were to commit suicide in Singapore, your family will be fined. its an offence here, y'know?

You sure as hell wouldn't wanna commit suicide OVERSEAS and then let the police bring it back home, rite? So be a good girl, and help your parents save their money, yeah?

I'm not gonna care about you anymore. Continue this attitude, forget about even being aquaintances, yea?

My idioms are improving(: mdm Ng will be so proud:D

schrei!

2010-08-21T16:27:00.002+08:00

Have you felt the type of uncomfort when you see the person that you've never seen in a long time?
I thought i was doing well. The pictures burned and all. But recently, it came back. And i don't like it. I almost cried when i admitted that i felt it. But i didn't.

Looks like i'm not strong, huh?

How i feel now, doesn't mean you'll feel the same too. But how'd i know what this is? Is it hate? Sorrow? Pity? Self-pity? Or just plain dumbness?

I dunno. I'd like to find out soon though. Cos last night, was the scariest night of my life. (NOT BECAUSE OF THE SHOW/SHOWS I WATCHED!)

Sometimes, i just feel like i'm the only one.
I hate being alone.

Under statement;

2010-08-19T17:09:00.002+08:00

this was my favourite picture for the dayy:D

It would be an understatement if i said i had a happy day today.
My morning was ruined by some motherfuckingbitch.

You think i KNOW that my skirt was short? All you had to do was to tell me. Did you really HAVE to yell at me? I've been controlling myself. You think i CARE that you're my senior? No, i fucking don't. So don't fucking SAY i gave you an attitude okayy. You think you have LIMITS? Well, so do i. I will NEVER respect you cos you didn't respect ME either. Fuck you, faggot. Who'd you think you are anyway? You're not even doing a GOOD job in your position so don't go catching on people whenn you're NOT perfect yourself. Got it, fuckin'bitch

unspoken secrets

2010-08-17T21:38:00.003+08:00

Everytime i feel that i can trust somebody, that person turns around and ruins that image i have of him/her.

if you want me to open myself up to you, then make me feel like i can when i'm around you. Every word you say, its so judgemental. How can you expect a person to talk to you when you're always assuming things?

I dunno who to talk to anymore. I can't write it in a diary cos it'll be read. I can't write it out online cos somethings might be rude and offensive. I can only think about it. But even so, i don't feel safe even in my own mind. Stupid, no?

Sharing my problems with people? No. It'll just get spread around. Thats how it is. Nobody can be trsted when it comes to this.

Rushing;

2010-08-13T18:14:00.002+08:00

hello, short post.
Boring day today. How i hate life):

Aanyway, going for tuition soon. Oh, and i'm very pissed with a certain someone now.
when you need me, i'm always there. When i need you, you're never there. You were the one thta brought me to this place. When you're with them, you treat me like trash. Am i really that embarrassing to be with?!

Going for class gathering this Sunday. YAY. And skipping school on Monday for YOG. We're given this awesome "credit card" just for YOG. Feel so honoured.

I'm NOT looking forward to see you though. I'll just give you the "-.-" look.
Yep. I'm not gonna care. Cos you didn't either.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUNDAYY.

o.0

2010-08-12T17:38:00.002+08:00

Tsk tsk,
I gotta feeling that today's Geog. test would be screwed ):<
Hmph.

DOn't wanna study.

I'm counting down the days to YOG. I can't wait to go the boothhh:D
And its awesome that Eileen eventually gets to go YOG. But hers is tmr. Which means she'll be missing outon Home Ec.
But isn't that kinda like a good thing? You don't have to hear Mdm Liang nagg!

We'll be making peanut cookies tmr.
I don't really like peanuts, but i'll give it a try.

Love,
J.

Promise-just another word.

2010-08-07T17:03:00.002+08:00

Don't promise me anything, cos i know you'll break it.
Don't beat around the bush, cos i know that what you'll say will hurt me.
Don't tell me the meaning of a Promise, cos thats just another word.
Don't express Love to me, cos i know you don't mean it.
Don't act like you care, cos i know you don't.
Don't pretend to tell me the truth, cos everything's a lie.

Yup. Life is a lie. Constantly lying again and again.
This, its just..ridiculous!

Pffft... >:

Wailing like a spoilt bitch.

2010-08-04T18:18:00.002+08:00

You're in Singapore at last and i can't go)': wtf!!
And today's the last day. Gosh. I thought that it'll cheer me up since i'm still depressed over not going to Paris. But then, things are seriously not going well for me.

Tsk.

And the promises about letting learn the guitar? Its as good as broken. Yeah. I'll still fight for that though. Keeping my mind busy is the only way to stop myself from thinking about stuff that would freak me out. Like this morning, i was thinking about dolls. Like, those freaky dolls.

Doubt i'll be able to sleep tonight!

and they lived happily ever after

2010-08-03T18:03:00.005+08:00

No more happy endings for me. Cos i've totally given up on them. Happy ending aren't real. So why do people keep believing in them? There's no such thing as a "happy ending" in reality. If there were, then it'd be called Fairytales. Not Reality.

I'm not gonna believe in any of that shit. Its not real. All these, they're illusions.

Love-what does it mean? Why is it that i'm the one that keeps getting hurt when it comes to love? Thats it. No more. Maybe its because i'll never be good enough. Maybe its just me. I hate it. Truth be told, i've stopped believing in love. All these puppy love mean nothing to me anymore. They've all just become memories and lessons.

Pffft...i can't find any words to describe myself now. Not even "Fuck it". Oh wait, there's a sentence: I'm such a bitch.

Everyone's lying.

2010-08-02T22:58:00.003+08:00

You made a promise, you broke it.
You stayed, then left.
You loved, now you hate.
You whispered, then you shouted.

You kissed, then, you killed.

Whats wrong with us? Is it just me or is it "Human Nature"?

I hate love.

sulking

2010-07-29T16:14:00.004+08:00

what we did in science class on Tuesday. The heart was a coincidence.

I'm sulking now cos the trip to Paris has been changed to Shanghai. Like, wtf! I'm still upset over it. Although Ms Julieanna told us that yesterday. I'm trying to keep an open mind. But its kinda hard since i was really looking forward to going to Paris. I mean like, HELLO! Paris! Home of HOT GUYYS! )':

Hmph. Then again, on the bright side, we MIGHT be able to some shopping in Shanghai and Shanghai is tons better than all the other provinces in China. But its still so unfair that the school changed the destination without informing us first)<

Hmph. I feel like a small child whining and wallowing in self-pity. How i hate this world. Its so unfair. Some people say that the world is a scary place. For me, its not scary. Its a huge dimension filled with nothing but a big black hole called reality. Oh, and that black hole? Its a bitch. One fucking bitch.

There's nothing left in this world for me to cry for. I'm not even gonna cry over the fact that you broke your promise. You didn't reply my texts and emails anywayy. Just like the rest of them, you go back on your word. Maybe in 5 years time, i'll be the one changing. Not you. It doesn't matter much to me now. I still miss you. But you wouldn't really know it. You know i love you. But its impossible to meet and hug you for one last time now.

third day

2010-07-28T15:59:00.002+08:00

Today has been a bad day for me. There's no difference. This life is way too long for me. If someone could cut it shorter or end it for me, i wouldn't mind.

I thought that being in the teen years would make myself happier than how i was when i was still a small girl. But now i finally realised that it makes no difference.

Common test week. IHATETESTS. I have screwed the last three papers. Expecting a big fat zero for them. When i said three, i meant including EL. Which is a huge blow to me since i have always been doing fairly well for EL. If i weren't sick, i'd have passed them all. INCLUDING MATHS AND SCIENCE.

Bad day today. Bad bad day. I don't wish to talk about it. Its been two days since you left. You said you'll never leave again. But you broke your promise. Just like everyone else. I miss you like crazyy. I wish you'd come back and stayy

To top my day off, i watched this horrible video online. I mean, Justin was OKAYY. But Usher?? Its more like "ehhh..." kinda thing. He looks horrible. The dance MOVES are okay. But the dancERS are ridiculous.

unfair-ness):

2010-07-27T22:42:00.002+08:00

Its so unfair. To work so hard for something and its all wasted because your freaking immune system isn't strong enough to withstand all the viruses and germs going around.

Yes, if you can guess by now, i'm down with flu. Its so freakin' unfair. Its not like i didn't study. I studies okayy! And its really mean of you to blame me for the attitude i have been having for the past 2 days. If you are really that type of understanding mother i want to picture; then please understand that i've been studying my guts out for the past week. Its just my bloody immune system that can't withstand all the flubugs flying around. You said so yourself.

Ohh wells, thats what every student is going through rite? We do the things our parents want us to do but they just don't see it. Its okayy. Cos everyone's facing it too. I'll just have to work harder for the remaining papers.

My third mummy has gone to the US with her family for 5 years. And i wasn't able to give her one last hug cos of school)': neither could i use my phone to message her one last goodbye message. I don't want my third mummy to go to the US. I want her to stay. I love you Aunty Soh Kwan, come back soon kayy! I'll give you loads of hugs!

Memories I'd Like To Keep;

2010-07-25T18:29:00.002+08:00

My email inbox is spammed ttm. 46 messages. I'm really greatful to you all(: Today, in church, JW made a cake for Clara and me. And just now when i was at Cheryl L's place, there was another cake! Chocolate this time.

These are all little memories that'll be in my mind. I won't forget them. Its kinda depressing though, that Tokio Hotel will be having an autograph session but i won't be able to go): cos ive got tuition on that night. Pffft...)<

I'm tired. I think i'm falling sick soon.

why;

2010-07-23T21:42:00.003+08:00

Everything in moderation: Does not only apply to food, but also in life.
Today's joke that you all played on me in N&B was really too much. I dunno who's at fault. I just know i'm upset.

To Kiwi: I hope you're reading this. Because i wanna apologise for today's action. I'm sorry i should've just told you that i didn't feel anything towards you. I've only regarded you as a friend. Though you've been really sweet. Messaging me every night. I can understand why you're mad at me now. I'm sorry if my actions in N&B has made you upset. I should've just told you the truth so that things won't come to this. We could've still been talking to each other now if it wasn't for that stupid joke they played on us. I just want us to continue being friends.

To them: You know what you did to me in N&B today. I just can't believe that you'll actually do that. I don't feel anything towards kiwi. So why did you push us together, making us deliberately sit together and almost left me alone to walk with him out of school ?? Because of that, i sat at another table and he probably got the wrong idea. I told you, i don't feel anything! WHY did you all have to that? It hurts you know! Real bad. And i still had to put on a happy face otherwise it'll ruin the atmosphere. Maybe you all will read this, maybe you won't. I just can't stand it. You all JUST had to that to me. Fine, if it was my fault for not stating things clear enough, then its probably my fault. But you knew how i felt didn't you?! And i thought Joy was unlucky for hurting herself the day before her birthday. There's so much to say but i'm just so disappointed.

I'll try and smile tmr. Smile and face everybody. Although i'm already and have always been broken inside.

new skinn:D

2010-07-20T16:39:00.002+08:00

I've been trying hard to find a new skin. Now i've finally found a pretty one:D
Owner's sick today. So was Macbeth/Elgin. Which was why we couldn't film the video today. Deadline's next week.

I HATE DEADLINES.

RAAH! So anywayy, today's lunch was kinda pathetic. Haha. I guess sitting at the void deck eating lunch with your friends having strong winds blowing at your face can be preetty relaxing. HOHOHO.

Today's P.E was screwed. Darn it. Its awesome that school ended an hour ealier cos of the 'O's! We had to clear our under tables though; the HOLE is ours! Evonne was nice enough to help me stack my book on top of the lockers. Thankyouu:D

I really need a blue dress. Hmph! I'm so upset. I can't find the pretty Polka Dots dress that i bought in Cambodia. Darn! Anyone wanna book a plane ticket for me to Cambodia so i can buy that dress again?:D

Wanted to go with owner to get the CD but she's sick. Threw up in the middle of the road-.-

GET WELL SOON OWNER! Hamster loves you:D
And JINGYI loves YOU too! Yes you! For reading this! Even though you maybe a somewhat stalker. Ahh wells!

JINGYI has stuff to do now.

BYEE

Not Afraid

2010-07-19T20:46:00.002+08:00

Feeling lost? Like you've been in the dumps? If you're not a fan of TH, maybe he'll help you. Yes, if you listen closely, Eminem uses FUCK in this rap/song. Oh, and the word DICK can be heard too(:

I felt that the last part of the video was abit ridiculous. Cos he was like, flying? LOL.

So ohkae, i'm feeling really lousy now. Thats a confession. I'm just looking for something to help me cool downn..i've been reading books lately. I'm a good girl. But i think i'm reading the wrong books. Cos they all talk about inflicting pain on yourself. By burning yourself. Hmm, tempting, but NO. Its hard when you get addicted. Ahh wells, like every other person, i'm just praying for each day to be better than the previous'.

Sometimes, reality can be SUCH a bitch, dontcha' think so?

Make Me Wanna Die-The Pretty Reckless

2010-07-18T12:50:00.002+08:00

Every ambitious girl needs an idol to follow. Ever heard of The Pretty Reckless?(;

save me with your love tonight~

2010-07-18T10:47:00.002+08:00

I was a happy girl yesterday(: Had BB/GB dinner@Hotel Royale(jealous, charyl?:D)
Our company has turned 10.

In the afternoon, twin came over to change first before going to kovan to meet mdm Jemaine. We went there earlier to rehearse. Supposrt singers, you see(: Went to mac to grab a bite first.

Then we went to the hotel. During worship, eunice's voice suddenly went abit -ahem- off. Then both of us were laughing so hard i had to hold the mic. further away in case everybody heard us. And i was fighting to calm myself down by the end of that song. Apparently i couldn't cos Eunice was laughing hard herself. How to keep calm??

Anyway, hotel royale had this little cute boxes as door gifts. Its from coco trees:D
HOHOHO. So okay, dinner was awesome cos we were laughing so much and so hard. Then we watched all the BB/GB videos. Haha. Hilarious. Went to the toilet many times too. Oh and did i mention i banged into the door many times too? Yeah.

HOHOHO. Jing Yi was a happy girl last night. And she will be again in another 7 days:D

comfy?

2010-07-16T22:26:00.002+08:00

I'm in the most comfortable position anyone can be in right now: Sitting on the sofa, with a computer on the lap, exploring the wonders of the world of internet with hair that has just came out of the shower.

But i'm tired. So so very tired. Mostly cos i've spent most(no sorry, its the WHOLE) of my day out. But i was learning. For your information! Y'know, venturing deep into the world of KNOWLEDGE.

Oh god, i'm so tired and shagged now. I don't even wanna post. I've been keeping late nights recently. And i always come home with the sense of fatigue washing over me like a tide. I feel so useless at times like this. Although i know that the Lord is with me. But sometimes nights just becomes so alone.

Hmph. >.<

There's the FORMAL gb dinner tmr. Whoo! The company is turning 10! Happy birthday to us~ Tuition was totally screwed. Okay fine, actually, the WHOLE of today is screwed. Came to school with a headache, kick starting the weekends with a "class detention" with the DM after school and lecture from Mr.Tham. Finishing off the school day with a not so successful ndp practice and finally ending the day with a 1 and 1/2 hr. science tuition on chem-.-

*sigh* not everyone has good days i suppose? And i can't freaking watch ANY anime on this comp. Why? Cos its a mac book. Which is a total lag. And there's nothing nice on tv either.

So i guess i could say i'm kinda contradicting myself in the first line.

Hmph!!

against the odds;

2010-07-15T17:47:00.003+08:00

Today just makes me think real hard..about alot of things. I dunno, maybe its cos i turned someone that pinned alot of hope in me down? Or maybe its this weird moodswing thing.

Its really scary. To be afraid of something but you dunno what it is. Its tiring,y'know? Coming home bloody late every night. Hate the feeling where i can't d anything for that night. Only collapsing on the sofa. All this pressure is making me OLD._.

There's still so much to do. Plus the guitar thing..oh shit. I know i mentioned i like this lifestyle, but i hope i don't collapse anytime soon.

I don't care who's reading this. And i fucking hate the fact that we're not allowed to post whatever we want cos its the net. I cant pouur my feelings out. I seriously need to get all this unpleasentness in me out. Otherwise i might just end up doing something foolish.

Oh whatthefuck. No one cares anyway. I don't see whyh i have to stay in a place i hate for the rest of my life until i get married! I dread going to that place. I hate it. I want to run away. But i dunno where to go. And i also know that running away makes me a coward.

But what can i do? God, please. Help me. Give me the strength to carry on. At least till i'm old enough to make decisions.
I need the strength Lord. Please, grant me that.

i always wanted a twin or at least feel this same sibling love they share...

24 hrs? Not enough!

2010-07-14T18:23:00.002+08:00

LIKEOHMYGOSH.IDIDNOTSLEEPENOUGHLASTNIGHTSOITHINKI'MGOINGCRAZY!!
HOHOHO.

WOW. So much caps letter:D Goin crazyy~

TOM is SOO cute at the beginning.(lyrics abit, the, uh, sick)

OKay, i think, i seriously NEEDA sleep early tonight. Means i can't slack after tuition tonight cos i have to study for tmr's physics test. Which, by some unfathomable reason, i'm looking forward to it. Maybe its just to prove to mummy that i probably could do without tuition for the time being. I'll seriously EXPLODE if i try to squeeze something else into this packed schedule of mine. PHEW!
Its just this 2 weeks that i'll be uber busy. So don't be expecting any updates here or fb in the span of this 2 weeks. Once the video deadline and dinners are over, i'll only be left with council invest. which shouldn't be so long. By next next week, it'll all be over.

I've got to rely on my immune system. They can't let me down. Cos if it does, there goes everything i've been working so hard for.

So, if i'm going to blog about everything thats happened in the last few days, i don't think i'll be able to finish!

Anyway, i slept at like, 9 last night. After dinner, and woke up at 4 to do my chinese tuition homework. After that, went to school.

Thats why eileen said i looked more fresh today. That, and i had grapes under me table(:

OKay,
JINGYI HAS TUITION LATERRR:D

Travelling;

2010-07-10T20:20:00.005+08:00

Today, had YOG training@NIE. Which was at Boon Lay(Jurong). Set my alarmm at 6.30 in the morning cos meeting her at 7.30@Bishan. Woke up at 6.30 but the usual, lazy me thought it was only 5. So slept all the way until 7.36. Woke up with a loud "SHIT I'M LATE!"

So i managed to brush my teeth and change in the shortest time ever and i ran out of the house like a mad women(no, i haven't tied my hair yet).

-ahem- to cut the story short, we managed to get to NIE. But we were 15 min late. Thanks to who? Yours truly. -.- I'M SOWWY!!D:

But me and Eunice had to leave at 3.30 cos we had to go to church for worship prac. at 5. So we went out of the Lecture Theatre, stood at the gate and went "shit, how to go back?" This fucking busstop was opposite the NIE gate. But there wasn't any bus numbers on it. So we stood there, like some idiots and started questioning ourselves IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

So we started walking,

and there was ABSOLOUTLEY NOT a single bloody signboard in sight! Ended up freaking out for 15 mins. And then we decided to call MR NG THIAM SENG. Since we thought all teachers should know NIE like the back of their hands. But he didn't. He suggested we ask for directions. But then again,

not a single person in sight! Then i thought that since our bus came from the inerchange, wherever it goes to, it'll still terminate at the interchange, right?

YES I WAS RIGHT!

We sat at the bus stop that we alighted at and waited like 2 idiots for the bus. In the meantime, i got bored. So since we had the whole road to ourselves, i did the very thing i wanted to do on the road:

posing in the middle of the road! HAHAHA. Eunice said i look like a zebra in the middle of the road. I wanted to lie down, but then, the road was wet, dirty and smelly.

So in the end the bus came and we got on the train and stand from Jurong to Serangoon. And from Serangoon we ran all the way to church. Gosh, today, was so tiring. But its worth it. The speaker for the YOG thing was funny and interesting. I can't wait for YOG!

Love,
J.

guitar:D

2010-07-09T17:52:00.002+08:00

YAYAYAY. Mummy agreed to let me try out guitar for 2 months. If i can cope or if i like it, i'll continue learning. HOHOHO.
Drills in school for Monday's GB day today. WOW. The sun was shining and it was so HOT. Our feet were all burning in our black kiwi-coated(heheh, KIWI) boots. And whats worse, there was a bunch of crazy monkeys upstairs watching us do drills. Hmph.

Tmr i'll be going to NIE. For YOG training. Hope there'll be some blonde guys there ♥!

Today's a quick post. Tuition later. Just got home.

headache ):

2010-07-08T17:34:00.002+08:00

I've got a headache now. Aww..shit. I've did some serious maths just now. Maybe it stretched my brain a little. Think my headache started when we were rushing the models for our fashion design(YES, we're doing that).

Hmm, you know what? Just now, when i had lunch just now, OHMYGOSH luh, it was so funny. Having lunch with the clique. I was having so much fun. But the most hilarious thing was when i forgot (your) name. I mean its like, i saw you there. But i was like, who..?

OHOHOH. And then, Eunice saw the boy that i said didn't give me tissue when i was p1. Hmph! >.<

Okay, i'm tired now. Gonna sleep:D

ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAID ITS THE WAY YOU SAID IT, ITS NOT THE WAY YOU DID ITS THE WAY YOU DID IT. I CHOOSE TO BE LONELY THEN LIVE WITHOUT YOUR...AFFECTION-Attention(:

DESPICABLE ME:D

2010-07-07T17:51:00.002+08:00

I'm contemplating. About 2 things. First one is, whether i should tell mummy that i want to learn guitar AND contemplating whether i should take up guitar if she allows. Cos right now, i have alot on my plate. And being someone extraordinary lazy, i can't really function well under pressure/stress. I'll lose my mind. Literally. You should know me by now, right?

Aww, i'm really just so tired now. There's a pile of homework sitting comfortably in my bag thats waiting to be done. Lets see, i have maths, MORE maths, a Lit worksheet on Macbeth and MORE editing to do on my Cambodia reflection.

Hmph >.<
I think i can forget about sleeping tonight. Cos i can only start on my homework AFTER my tuition which is a 9.30/10+?

I know God will help my tonight. And i should out the guitar issue aside. But, like, how much of the music i listen to DOES NOT ave a guitar playing? God, please, help me make a wise choice. I know how to solve the problem. I just don't know if its the right choice..

tired aching legs

2010-07-06T20:47:00.003+08:00

Hmm,
What exaclty should i do now?
Its been an exciting day today. But i'm too tired to do anything..

Slept at 1 last night. Came to school cranky and hungry. So i'm sorry if i've offended anyone. But my day in school was nothing close to enjoyable. With the Lit Shakespeare quiz in the morning to kick start the day. And then, Charyl Low being ill, and then during geograhy, i fell asleep for the whole period.

Oh, and during english too. Got caught by the VP2 for sleeping in class during english. Eunice too. I gotta be more careful. Stickys kept me alive for half the day today.

And to end the day, council rehearsals till 5. And rushed to Bugis with Eileen to buy a book for school.

I'm so tired now.
Someone please help me..

Since today's post is short, lets have some videos yeah?

This time, it ISN'T Tokio Hotel. Its Lady Gaga. Ooh, lets all go gaga after seeing this. GAGAAA:D

Eclipse(:

2010-07-05T21:48:00.004+08:00

15 more days to the release of HUMANOID CITY:D

OHOHOH, yesterday, had fun watching Eclipse:D Its quite a relief to know now, that Victoria was destroyed(i'd have used DIED but then again, all vampires start off dead). But then again, its quite sad because that means that we'd be seeing less of Jacob Black(♥!) from now on. I hope not though. He is the cutest werewolf i've ever seen.

And then, after the movie, had a very late (and yucky) dinner at Pizza Hut. Eunice and I ordered a seafood and Tofu salad. Which i strongly advise everyone here reading this to NEVER EAT THAT. It tastes like grass. Mainly because its called a salad. So anyway, Eunice and I were feeling SOO upset that we had to eat GRASS while the others were eating scrumptious baked rice! Urgh!

So when i reached home, it was already 9 plus. Going 10.(and i saw a cockroach) Bathed and collapsed on the sofa. Woke up bright and early today to meet lovelys and Elgin and Alfy for lit video. And then, i slept on JH's couch. Comfy. MINUS THE NOISE POLLUTION BY ELGIN AND ALFY.

I'm sleepy now. Long day ahead tmr.

16 more days;

2010-07-04T10:52:00.004+08:00

Starting coutdown!
TOKIO HOTEL, PLEASE HURRY RELEASE THE ALBUM!

Eclipse later with clique and kiwi. Tmr's youth day. And i haven't did the Cambodia reflections yet. Darn it!

Hmm, i bet J hasn't done it (have you, j?).
I have to go on a shopping spree soon. Gotta get a blue dress for the 24th dinner. And THAT PAIR OF KILLER SHOES!

Okay, i think i'd better get ready now. Don't wanna be late.

and when it hurts you, scream it out loud;

2010-07-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

(:

Okay, this song, was recorded when he was 13. Which means the drummer was only 15. Killer musical skills yeah?
The unique thing about their music is that their songs actually have meaning behind it. Like for this song, it talks about screaming out who you really are. And for World Behind My Wall, it talks about leaving everything behind you (i think).

Although they're freakishly good looking, the music that they produce is freakishly good too. Don't think that i like them just cos of their look! Unlike the __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __! I was foolish that time. I'm not so now. Or at least i hope so.

Goodnight world and goodnight Lord. Thank you for making today such a wonderful day:D
i love my Lord.

17 more days:D

2010-07-03T14:12:00.003+08:00

This is the pizza i made during home econs yesterday. It has green bangs! The other one that Syfizan(yes, he's my partner-.-) took had red fringe. And a flower. made of ham.:D

I could say that yesterday was quite a bad day. I was so tired. But came to school with a pleasent suprise-Heart Stickys under my table(: Thanks:D

Aanyway, its another 17 more days before Humanoid City CD comes out. I can't wait!!
Today, had CCA. It was raining. But we did drills, still. It was pouring this morning. Raining cats and dogs. And it was cold. 2 of the many weathers i don't like. Cold, and wet. Hmph.

I felt like a Kyo the cat just now. Cos he hates the rain and the cold. So i kept "meowing" in the canteed when we were looking for a place to do drills. Ended up doing in the ISH with the LOUD LOUD scouts. I have no idea why they keep pumping when their drills were okay.

So anyway, the rain was so heavy and the wind so strong that i stood behind the pillar to keep myself warm. Then mdm Ray said that when it comes to times like this, its actually good to be FAT.

LOL. Maybe i'm not fat enough?
I can't waitt for Humaniod City to come out. I already found Humanoid CD yesterday. But didn't have enough cash with me to buy. I'll wait then. its just another painful, irritating and long 17 days. No biggie right?:/ Well, look on the bright side, at least its better than waiting for a month, huh?

what does it matter?

2010-07-01T22:35:00.001+08:00

I've just made an important decision. And i'm not sure if its the right one. If i were to say it out loud maybe you'll all come personally knocking on my door and try and talk some senses into me

I just need time. Please give me that.

no fair, simply no fair.

2010-06-27T21:22:00.002+08:00

Its not fair-the way you're talking about me. I didn't choose this. Nobody did. Neither did anybody expected to encounter something like that! Its really unfair of you to judge me this way. Its not like i wasn't trying, i was. And trying hard, might i add.

I practised long and hard. Though when i quit, it may seem quite a relief for me, i still wanted to carry on. If i did, i'd have been so much more. I want to pick up a new skill or at least carry on where i'd left off. But i can't tell you all these because you'll never understand.

Watching musical videos is very inspirational. So why did you make me stop what i was learning? I can't say i enjoyed learning. Because learning is never easy. But do you know how it feels to go to a place every week of your life surrounded by people that have the skill you used to have. And all you have is a crap voice that sounds awful yet you're still forced to use it.

All i ask is for you to understand how i feel. Right now, i think its all too late. Cos i can't remember what i've learnt. Maybe if by continuing i'll be hurting my fingers then, can't i pick up something new? I don't like feeling so useless. When everybody can lead for worship but i can't.

Some people may be okay with it, but i'm not. I hate it.

;all i ask of is to continue learning the piano. Can't you understand?

MJ's 1 year death annivasary

2010-06-27T17:27:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, it was the King Of Pop's 1 year death annivasary.
Its quite hard to believe that he has already left us for a year. Yet another legendary artiste left the world-for the better, i hope.

You know, next time, what would we tell our children?(i'm not saying i'll have any) How would they know who Michael Jackson was. I'm not stating a question. That was a fact. Which was why there was no "?".

They would be like us, don't you think? I dunno bout you, bout my parents used to tell me bout the legendary Elvis Presley. And i could never fathom why he was such a legend. Because i've never heard of him before.

But now, we know who MJ is because we've heard of him when he was alive. We know MJ as: "The man that did moonwalk" or "The singer with a great voice" or "The singer that underwent surgery to bleach his skin". Would our children know all these?

I hope that MJ is in a better place now. Its sad to see legends leave this world one by one. Who's gonna be the next artiste to leave such an impression? Lady Gaga?

Whatever it is, i hope you're happily moonwalkin in heaven now, MJ(:

"Love lives forever"-Michael Jackson.

-i dunno what to put here-

2010-06-25T11:14:00.002+08:00

LALALALA:D
Going to bishan later with lovelys.
Whee.

We're going to chiong our homework!*determined look* Okay, fine, not really. Actually, i think i'll just copy off. Except for the Trigonometry worksheet-which i don't see to be a problem-the rest will be copied:D

Okay, so, this is the list of homework i've done:
~~English Book Review~~
~~Acelearning maths~~
Maths-Trig
Maths-60 question worksheet
Maths-YOG worksheet
Lit McBeth video
Chinese
:D
I'll do the trig. worksheet maybe on Sunday?
And do the 60 questions later.
Chinese not going to do, YOG i'll go to school and do.
All thats left is lit.
Hmm, that one uh, we'll see(:

BYEBYE

WOWW.

lets go Humanoid

2010-06-24T11:20:00.002+08:00

Just got an email from tokiohotel.com!!
They say that the Humanoid CD won't be out till 20th July.
Aww. But still, i wanna watch their world tour!! Its so awesome.
The outfits, the props, the songs(which are new) plus, Bill's gonna have a new hairstyle!(Y)

Really wish they'll come to Singapore. But not during the exam period. OHOHOH did you know they performed in PARIS before? (EUNICE!!! I cant wait!!)
Though after that world tour i think Bill injured his voice. He had to go to voice rehabilitation.):

That was a long time ago. OHMYGOSH luh. I seriously can't wait for the 20th.
WHEEE~~

Me can't waitt:D
COUNTDOWN COUNTDOWN!:D
Haha, okay, enough slacking.

rants.

2010-06-23T10:22:00.005+08:00

I'm gonna say it all out. So fucking pissed now.

[YOU promised not to talk about the name here anymore. Yet YOU went back on your word.
Do YOU know how hard it is to get a single fucking word into YOUR head?? cos all YOU
ever do is talk about YOURSELF. Do YOU spare a thought for the rest of us?! Do YOU know what you're doing? I've had enough of YOUR crap. At first i thought if i pretended not to care would probably wake YOU up. But i was wrong. Still, it doesn't mean i will start caring. I won't. And i'm so tempted to say out YOUR name or at least what YOU'VE been doing to us. Stop the fucking crap of YOURS. If its attention YOU want, do YOU realise that nobody's been giving YOU any? Isn't it obvious?!]

-ahem-

Okay, i hope YOU get it.
ANYWAY, yesterday, went to Alphy's house to do lit video. Umm, unfortunaetly, we were watching Chick vs Dick/Bleach/Happy Tree Friends/Another show by some angmore♥
guy. So we didn't even start anything. HAHAHAHA.

OHOHOH there were these two adorable ttm rabbits at Alphy's house. We took the one with floppy ears out of her cage. Then, when we wanted to bring her back into her cage, she scratched me >.< hmph. So bony..

Then, we had cup noodles for tea break:D
And then, i had to go home with Elgin because we both had to rush back-.-
OHOHOH! And then, i saw Lionel at the train station. Hmph. Didn't say hi.
Can't be bothered to anyway. HA-HA-HA-.-

OHKAE. I'm more relieved to know that J's okay. Love you too J:D
I HAVE NOT DONE ANY HOMEWORK YET

:/

2010-06-21T11:02:00.003+08:00

If you wanna get over a guy, you should treat him like how small children treat their stuffed toys.

Memories are like stuffed toys. When you first got the toy, you love it alot. But then, after awhile, you get tired of it.
And leave it in the corner of the room. If you don't touch it, or don't think about it, you won't know the toy is there.
Getting over someone you love is painful. But if he's not the right guy for you, then the feeling after you have gotten over him is amazing.

If the guy doesn't cherish you or you feel like you're the only one in the relationship trying hard to make the relationship work while the guy doesn't do anything then, TO HELL WITH THAT GUY!

Or, if that guy doesn't believe that you two could still be friends even if you two don't stead then, who cares? If he doesn't want you as a friend, its not like you can't make others, right?

J, i hope after you read this you'll feel better(:

Oh, and i would like to say one thing: I HATE USING MAC.

poked.

2010-06-18T15:33:00.003+08:00

Just finished a group discussion.
It was-ahem-not very productive.
At least we found the book. So we roughly know what its talking about.

Oh. And we were trying so hard to put on some nail polish an Alphy and Elgin's leg.
Since they were the only guys around. Hohoho. Mission failed though.

Hmm, now they're over at Charyl's place. I didn't go. Tuition later. Aww):
This coming Sunday is Cheryl L's birthday. Better say an advanced happybirthday in case i forget!

So.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYLL!!:D
Can't wait for your chalet!!:D

After Cheryl L's would be Eileen's. And after Eileen would be mine. And then would be Charyl's.

Woww..
I can't wait for mine!!:D
This year would be a year closer to NC16 movies! 2 more years! Whee!!
Happy happy!!:D

torn apart.

2010-06-17T16:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, i really feel like shouting out whatever's in my mind.
Cos i really can't stand it anymore. All i wish to do is to speak my mind.
I mean, who likes to be forced anyway??

All i want is to be able to voice out how i feel. I don't wanna do something that i hate and do it unwillingly.
Not only will it ruin my mood, it'll also ruin everybody else's. Especially if its a group work.
Why must you all be so selfish? Making people do the stuff they don't like.

You all are selfish.

i feel betrayed.

2010-06-16T11:07:00.003+08:00

WTH. I don't wanna do this anymore.
Yet you forced me into doing something i hate.
Seriously, what do you gain by seeing me suffer?

I thought you were nice.
But i guess i was wrong.

Please shut the fuck up now. I don't wish to talk to you or anyone from your little group of pathetic souls.
I'm not going to answer any of your phone calls. So you can jolly well save the money and stop calling me.

I'm not going to answer you anymore. You totally betrayed me.
Some "friend" you are.

hey you-tokio hotel

2010-06-15T11:49:00.002+08:00

I WANT A HUMANOID CD!!D:

Please?? Anyone out there? LOL. Ohkae. I'm gonna drown myself in the dark music of tokio hotel today.
Drown out the naggings.

YAY.

I lost my holiday homework.
Apparently it poofed away. I can't find my science worksheet and the paper with my maths workings is gone too.
-.-

Mr Tham and Mr Tan gonna kill me when school reopens-.-
OOH.

I plan to stick my side of the room wall with all the posters of my favourite artistes. JW already has Lady Gaga on the door. I have Tokio Hotel beside my bed. YAY!

Gonna paint my nails later. OH yeah.

:D

I WANNA WATCH KARATE KIDD!!

I WANT

2010-06-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

Quick post;

3-4 hours of drills under hot sun. Sec 1s had it easy.
I finally have a place to stick my Tokio Hotel poster!!:D

So now, Bill Kaulitz and Tom Kaulitz can finally be beside me:D
OKay, i know that sounds scary but...THEY'RE SOOO CUTE!! You should've watched TH tv
when Tom was trying to make a sandwich which, according to George, takes him half an hour.-.-

But then, the sandwich was too healthy for Tom. SO he got himself a coke. So cute.
ANDANDAND Bill, was so fascinated with the gummies when he went grocery shopping in US.

He was like, OH! Look at these chemically-filled jelly goodness! I should get some for Tom. OH! and some toilet paper for George!

SO CUTE!!

Okay, i gotta go.

I WANT A HUMANIOD CD PLEASE!!

-.-

2010-06-13T13:27:00.002+08:00

TOODAY IS SUCH A BORING DAY!D:<
Practicaly HALF of the church members went for church camp. Hmph.
If you're asking if i went, i'd knock you on the head.
Obviously not! How else would i be able to post now? Tsk.

I simply find no thrills and action going to the camp.
Cos i'm certainly not one that has amazing paitience!
Going to the camp would probably man me getting pissed easily and blowing up in front of everyone.

Camps simply bore me, to put it simply. The only camp that has action and thrills in it was the Sec 2 adventure camp which rocked ttm♥

So, i'd rather spend my time properly in Singapore than in Malaysia.
Though i must say, missing the cam means missing God's word. But its not like i can't do my own QT at home!

Besides, daddy's not around.

So today in church was pretty mundane. No action, no thrills. B-O-R-I-N-G!
Reached home kinda early today. 12. No youth and a uber early lunch.

Gonna visit my cousins later♥
Mummy and JW is currently in Ikea. OH! Hey, is the exhibition still on?
Ah, who cares? Screw it(:

Tokio Hotel:D

2010-06-12T13:59:00.002+08:00

OHMYGAWD:D
They're just so awesome:D
Please please get me something related to Tokio Hotel on my birthday? Either that, or the killer shoes i wanted!:D

I've been pretty random around mummy recently.
One day i asked her this: Mummy, if my i brought home my boyfriend that had Bill Kaulitz's hairstyle, what'd you do?

Mummy: If you get married to him, i'll shave it off when you're not around and when he's asleep!
Me: Mummy, you're perverted! Cut off my husband's hair!
Mummy: Aiyah, then marry someone from the army or something luh! All botak one..
Me: Also must be angmoh, hot and...
Mummy: yeah luh yeah luh! Just don't bring home some German guy can already!
Me: -.-

I'll make sure my husband wears a hairnet when he sleeps if he has BK's hairstyle!
Really regretted not buying those heels! Cotton On shoes are just so awesome.
I should've gotten them!D:

OH! I'll ask J to buy them for me(:
Birthday pressie~~whee!

Really wanna thank Cheryl L. for giving me the Tokio Hotel poster:D
Although i kinda almost-ripped her magazine apart just to get he poster:O!
Still, its worth it y'know!:D

Okay, i've crapped enough.
BYEE!!

Slackness~

2010-06-11T21:13:00.002+08:00

OHMYGOODNESS!

Holidays have been making me go nuts!
Like, I can't even think properly now.

I actually got up at 6 in the morning today thinking that there was school.
Gosh, if I'm gonna keep this up, I'm gonna start losing my self-awareness!(whatever that means!)

SO, today, asked Eileen, Eunice and Cheryl L. to go out with me.
Landed up at Bishan with a hungry tummy.

Was this close// to watching Karate Kid. Darn it!
*sigh* ended up window shopping and was this close// to buying a pair of heels from Cotton On at 10 bucks! Total steal man!
Darn!!

I didn't buy cos i didn't know how i could "smuggle" that pair into the house-.- but i'd love you if you buy me that for my birthday!

Had a scrumptious dinner @ cafe Galilee-Roasted Chicken Leg.
Though the process of eating was a lil' unglam.

I was kinda like, having "war" with the chicken. Apparently the knife couldn't cut![Actually, it was more of i didn't know how to]
And then Eunice and Cheryl L. were giving me the "-.-" look.

Ended my day with tuition.aww

Having like, 10 over guests at my place now.
So i'm currently taking refuge in the room:D

Take It Off-Kesha

2010-06-10T16:47:00.001+08:00

No nice songs to listen to?
I recomend one:

No MV though, i can't seem to find any):

slow post:/

2010-06-10T11:38:00.002+08:00

WHEE~
I've finally managed to paint my nails(:
Happy happy!:D

Its pink and blue now.
All my fingers are pink except the middle ones. They're blue.
THAT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING!:D

Heehee.

Golly, holidays make my brain stop working. I thought today as a Sunday):
Silly me(:

Planning to go out later though;
And i wanna watch THE KARATE KID!D:
LOL

Probably be making a lil' trip to Hougang Mall later.
Buy a cover for my phone and Ruffles(Y).

I'm having the when-there's-school-i-want-holidays-when-theres-holidays-i-want-school
mood.

Bummer):

I can't entertain myself enough! I'm going crazy!!
WHEE!!

goodbye daddy):

2010-06-09T10:24:00.002+08:00

Yes, my beloved daddaye is flying off tonight):
But he says he'll be back soon(:

So last night, wwe watched a movie together. Y'know what the movie was? NEW MOON. Like, wth. Can't stand Robert Pattinson's face luh.

Mummy said she hadnt watched it yet so, we ended up watching that.
Anywayy, daddy said he wanted to make some dessert for us. Since there was Peaches and Chinchow.

Then, he came up with this weird name: Peachchow.
It was Peach+ChinChow=Peachchow-.-

So i told him i didn't want chinchow cos i don't like chinchow. I just want Peach.
After that daddy looked so shock. "HUH?! You don't want the CHOW in your Peachchow?? How can?!"

-.-

Honsetly, sometimes, i really think that my father is that of a 3 year old kid.-.-
After that the Peachchow, daddy kept on critisizing Robert Pattinson. Ahh wells, somethings never change, huh?

no more.

2010-06-08T12:51:00.003+08:00

No more.
I can feel the hate no more.

Kinda feel sorry for you right now.
Looking all pathetic yesterday.

I just realised we're on the same boat.

Both of us have been hurt by the same person.
And its all a matter of time when we can recover.

Maybe it really did work out for you. Just not me.

OH..i really dunno if i should hate you or feel sorry for you.
After all, what you did was, bitchy and you had a serious fucked up attitude problem.

Maybe all this was, my fault?
I probably sholdn't have agreed to it.

Maybe..just MAYBE if you're willing to change that fucking attitude problem of yours, you could've been really awesome.

But, you just don't see it.

We do. Thats sad.

addicted~

2010-06-07T11:51:00.002+08:00

I'm addicted to a song~
I can listen to it over and over again and never get tired of it.
That is, UNITL i find a new song.
But still(:

But, to be addicted to someone, is that different from being addicted to SOMETHING?
Sometimes, i really find myself asking too many questions(:

Twin and i were talking yesterday.
Talking, gossiping, girl time.

She said that i could have YOU back.
My answer was: NO. Not in a million years.

Even if you'd change for the better, i still wouldn't want you back.
Who knows what else you were hiding from me during the last 5 months?
Only you..

SO,
I wrote this to wish you all the best for whatever lies ahead.
Goodlick and lets not meet again.

wasted

2010-06-06T21:54:00.002+08:00

Tsk.
Everyone has two faces.
I just didn't expect some people's other face to be seen so obviously.

Why can't you just say the truth?
Fine, if thats the way you want it, fine.
I'll just be more careful in front of you.
You like showing double faces?

I'll show you mine.
Lets play your pathetic game.

Today, its SO wasted.

too many questions

2010-06-05T15:30:00.002+08:00

I wonder what its like to die.
Somehow, i have the sudden urge to go to God and be with Him for eternity.
Maybe i'm just being a coward, trying to run away from all my fears.

I wonder what its like to die peacefully in your sleep.
How does dying peacefully feel? Can you see yourself leaving your body? Do you know you died?

Whats it like to jump off a building?
Or die in a car accident?

Is it pain?

I'm asking too many questions.

-no title-

2010-06-03T17:50:00.002+08:00

URGH!

I don't like where this is going.
So far, i've only completed ONE piece of my school homework.
Not yet touched even the slightest bit of my tuition homework yet-.-

AWESOME.

God, please help me to discipline myself, so that i would not let my mind wander in the world of memories. I wanna buck up this semester. Give me a healthy body for this holiday.
Amen

human nature..?

2010-06-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had the feeling of wanting to beat someone up?
The craving of wanting to take revenge the "mean way"?

But you know you have to control yourself.
'cos you know its wrong to let it out.

Hmph.

This is how i'm feeling now.

And i may never get a chance to calm down.
With all these frustrations buzzing around in my peeuny mind.
How can i possibly keep calm??

Annoying-.-
I feel like shouting it out, what i really wanted to say all along.
Just that, God doesn't allow me to.

HMPH!!

I shall go and happily flunk my e-learning homework now~

excited

2010-06-01T17:14:00.003+08:00

HI!!

OHMYGOSHH!!!
I'm super duper high now.

Okay, this is an extra post.
Haha, a lil' hint to everyone out there to get this on my eggcrack(this word is created by gp) day

:D!!

So awesome rite? Randomly browsing through mtvasia.com when i found the Tokio Hotel's official webpage.

So, this is DIFFERENT from stalking okay! In case you were wondering.
Haha!

So, where to get my awesome present?
http://tokiohotel.shop.bravadousa.com/Dept.aspx?cp=13345_13707

Teehee!
Okay, my sugar rush is gone.
I'm sleepy now.
Shall nap.
:D

REMEMBER AH!!
I'll love you for life if you get me that(:

Comparison

2010-06-01T14:00:00.009+08:00

Yesterday, i went out with mummy to 313@sommerset. Kinda did window shopping and had a mother-daughter time. Which explains WHY i didn't go out with clique yesterday.

Anyhow, i came up with this conclusion after yesterday's spree: Ladies have to put in more effort to dress up than guys to look equally good as them.

Take celebrities for example,

Look at Lady Gaga's dress.
See the complicated designs? It makes her look so good. Plus, she has to use the accessory on her hair so that it won't look so plain. Also, she has to put in extra effort for her make up.

I dunno if there was somebody to help her with her make up, either way, she still looks good(:

Compared to...

Taylor Lautner.
He looks good just by wearing a suit.
At least Taylor does not have to worry about his make up being smudged and stuff.
Or worry if his hair accessory is okay.

All he has to do is wear the suit, and maybe do his hair.
If he has a make up artist to do this for him, then the make up artist would have lesser work to do compared to Lady Gaga's.

Because frankly speaking, Taylor's suit doesn't seem THAT complicated.
Dontcha think so?

How about...

Taylor Swift?
Look at the dress.
It makes her look elegant. Thanks to the design.
She, too, has to wear a dress with very nice design and not wear something that doesn't have complicated patterns. It'll make her look weird.
Taylor Swift has to do make up too!

Look at Tom Kaulitz, Bill's twin brother (left)

Okay, fine, though he's just the guitarist, he's still part of Tokio Hotel-the band that i oh so love(:

And he dresses plainly too.
Shirt and baggy pants.
Its also because of him that i wanna pierce my lower lip.
I think both the brothers are SOO cute!♥

There, you have my analysis!(:
Hence, i can say that it takes more effort for ladies to look good than for guys.
Ladies have to fret about what they wear JUST SO they could be as good looking as the guys(:

Sorry if this post was a lil' too dry(:

illusion

2010-05-31T11:01:00.002+08:00

What's it like?
Being the only one who knows the truth.
And trying to tell the rest.
They don't listen.

No one would ever know because even though you tried telling them, they didn't listen.
Although everyone is busy with their own lives, shouldn't one make time for another at times like this?

When you need someone to talk to, who do you find?
Rather, who did I find?

To hate sleeping at night worrying about this and that.
Frustrating, yes?

And yet no one at home seems to care.

I may never be able to outshine her.
For i will always be that little girl in the family that doesn't know how to be independent.

To them, i will only rely on others forever.
I'm trying. Yes i am. Trying to make them all proud of me.
But sometimes, the world just doesn't listen.

Telling myself that i will be contented and happy with what i have now and that they would one day wake up and see that all i'm trying to do is make them proud.

But isn't the world filled with illusions all the time?
We're all trying to get out.

Some, however, lose their way, succumbing to the temptation.

But never in my life, would i STOOP THAT LOW!
Won't they ever believe me??

no tan after 3 days under the sun!

2010-05-30T16:23:00.004+08:00

♥!
i admit, i'm a total shinsengumi fan!
I finally understand WHY animes take such a long time to come out. Animation's hard work!! (i've tried to animate a FROG jumping. Its not as easy as it looks!)

Just came back from Coporal's camp.

Don't wanna talk about it. All i can say is, i finally understand how being a prisoner is like. From the moment you enter jail a.k.a camp, you see everyone thats doomed to spend their time like you. And when you are released from jail a.k.a break camp, you feel a sense of freedom and happiness that is hard to describe(:

Although i've made some friends, the feeling of stepping into my original house is so much better. Much(x100000) more comfortable.

I'm just so elated that i can finally get this camp over with.
Though the fisrt day was hell. Cramps were so bad that i felt nauseous!
OHAMGEE rite??

But even though the food was great [not to mention fattening], when i came home, i had the fattiest lunch of all: Macdonalds.

Really AM gonna grow fat like this!
Y'know whats funny? Its that everyone was whining bout how much they missed their phones, but i didn't. Instead, y'know what i was whining about? This: THE BLOODY CAMP DIDN'T EVEN LET US DRINK GREENTEA! EVEN ON SPECIAL NIGHT! Of course, the rest of the other girls were missing and thinking of their phones and such, but i was actually thinking of food.

Hence, today's lunch.

OHOHOH! And i think i'm gonna fail my stage two drill test though. Almost fainted while doing drills. Really gonna praise God if i pass. I just hope i'm not the only one thats gonna fail. (i'm NOT saying i want my girls to fail too!)

We also played Angels&&Mortals in the camp. My mortal turned out to be my buddy during the camp. So it wasn't hard to take care of her-though its quite hard to take care of myself!-since we're so close.

When camp officially broke after the last photo was taken, the entire quadrangle of st.Margret sec was filled with the sounds of whooping from the jubilated GB girls.
Even the officers were quite relieved(could tell from their faces)!

After the camp was over, hugs were going around and girls were saying goodbye to their new-found friends and also hugs to welcome each othe back after being seperated for 3 whole days.

Throughout this camp, i must say i have learned alot more about God and how it feels like to be in an all-girls environment. Its tons different then when we had our own GB camp in church. I guess its because there's just a small group of us. 13++ girls compared to 100++ girls is a HUGE difference!

Anyway, i'm just glad i learned how to report and learn more about God instead of bimbo-ing my way around through the whole 3 days.

The other thing i'm NOT happy about is this: Even after 3 days under the bloody hot sun, i still don't see any tan marks on myself!

tempted

2010-05-27T21:03:00.002+08:00

Gosh. I'm SOOO SOOO tempted to watch anime right now.
But i can't. Just finished packing camping bag.

There's camp tmr.
Till Sunday afternoon.

Not really looking forward to it though.
Hmph.

Still gotta polish boots.

OHOHOH!
Y'know, there's camp tmr but we found out there's DRILL TEST stage 2 tmr!!

AARGH!

I hope to pass the practical. Get it over with. Once and for all.
Also, cos Hui Xin'll be treating us to drinks if we passed!(greentea!!)

Watched PRINCE OF PERSIA-SANDS OF TIME with family yesterday.
After that, we went for an uber late dinner. By late, i meant, at 11pm.
Drove all the way from PS to Newton Circus to eat.

Fatty foods yesterday: Oyster Omelette, Hokkien Mee and Satay.

Woah rite? Reached home at late 11.
So slept at 12+.

Shagged today.
Hmph...

I'll be a good girl and sleep at 11 tonight(:
partly cos there's camp tmr!

♥

2010-05-25T21:35:00.003+08:00

Will YOU be just like them?
To willingly give up your life for someone that wasn't much help?

Will YOU be able to protect me like how they protect her?
Will YOU give me a happy ending?

Will YOU be willing to get into trouble like how they would?

fairy tales ain't true, Jingyi.

Being caught in the middle-i hate it.
All i ever wanted was to make everyone happy.

Yet they are all quarelling among themselves.
I don't like being caught in the middle.
Because then i'd have to lie to both parties and that upsets God.

Though i promised i won't say anything.
But this is really tearing me apart.

Yes, i know i'm already mad.
I just don't want to literally go mad.

Please, patch it up?

Something that should've been done

2010-05-25T17:31:00.002+08:00

I can't be bothered anymore.
This should've been done a long time ago.

But i guess everybody thought you would change.
For awhile, i believed.
Now, i'm sure you didn't.

You should be happy now.
Cos i'm not gonnaa care bout what you do anymore.

So just go ahead and do whatever you want.
Even if you come back crying to us, i won't bother.

Just go ahead and do whatever you want.

what is this world we're living in?

2010-05-24T22:10:00.003+08:00

I need to cry on somebody.
Cos i don't think i can continue like this anymore..

its so upsetting to see people around me fall apart.
Cos its making me feel like falling too.

I'm tired of being the one to make people smile.
For once, somebody, Entice me to smile. Please?

This world is such a cruel place.
But theres nothing you or i can do about it.

I just wish there was somebody there that could actually listen to me.
Instead of squabbling among yourselves like you are now,
can y'all try and help me out a lil'?

I'm feeling awful):
All i wanna do is cry.

Sunday Afternoon

2010-05-23T15:43:00.002+08:00

I am so pissed! >.<
Theres not enough cardboard at home and i gotta do the props for lit fiesta on tuesdady!

Hmph.

Woke up early (okay, 9 is not considered early) just to do the props.
Tsk.

Still got a darn jade rabbit to do!
And i'm not allowed to draw my wabbits!!

:@

Tsk.

Need to have my daily dosage of green tea!

*scurry off to get greentea*

oh?

2010-05-22T18:03:00.003+08:00

On my way home today, saw many many couples.
I think its so sweet. Dontcha?

Its like, to have another "half" is kinda awesome.
To be able to share secrets with.

Or to say things that you could never ever say to even the closest of friends.
To be able to have someone that would stay by you 24/7 and never leave your side (thanks to technology),
Isn't it just wonderful?

Haha, ita kinda weird saying all these. Don't get it wrong though,

I'm NOT looking for a relationship.
To be single with a bunch of girl-friends, is awesome enough for me.
Not to mention they're as crazy as me!

I dunno why SOME PEOPLE *hints at SOMEBODY* don't understand that.
Can't people JUST live with a NIGHT thats ALL girls and no boys, for once?

(ooh, i smell japanese curry cooking!!)

I heard some news. From who, i will not say.
But after hearing that, i felt frickin' pissed.
Why can't people just learn?
If you get hurt, you obviously don't wanna be hurt again.
But some people just can't get this into their heads!

So, i have decided. Next time it happens again,
I won't tolerate it to the point of not even caring.

tired and sleepy

2010-05-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.
What a terrible day today!

Monster hurt himself in d&t.
Quite serious.

Kiwi helped me to finish my product.
I didn't dare to use the saw.

Had saluting this afternoon.
OH THAT WAS TERRIBLE.

Hand aching now.

I'm too tired to post.

shagged...

2010-05-20T21:14:00.002+08:00

OHAMGEE~
I'm having uber bad muscle ache today. It has been lasting for weeks):
Poor me):

I could hardly walk when i came home yesterday.
Stupid me, i was aching all over my bloody body (figure of speech, i'm NOT bleeding) but i still went ahead to swim.
When i came home, i bathed and collapsed all over the sofa.

Called mummy and daddy to buy salonpas for me.
It didn't help much though.

OKAY! So, yesterday,
after sports day at NYP, went to Sengkang to swim.
Its kinda ironic cos we had fatty food-kfc-for lunch before going to swim.

Anyway, we couldn't swim for long cos it rained. Oh darn it!
And also cos almost all of us were aching all over.

Eunice's ear was huting badly, Cheryl L. swam halfway and had cramps in her leg, Charyl L, well, erm. SKIP on what happened~
Eileen told us last minute that she didn't know how to swim~! -.-

And i was aching. Only JH was the OKAY one.
Had subway for dinner that night(:

I got back all my results today.
Passed all except for science-.-

Oh wells, i expected that anyway. :O!
I'm tired now,

Bye people. Love yas!

Thai Food~

2010-05-18T22:24:00.002+08:00

OHMYGAWD.

Just had some awesome Thai food for dinner.
It was celebration for my maths result(advanced).

B3 babeh!
So frickin' happy. First time passing maths. Not to mention getting so high. [Ahem, not including p1&p2]

Mummy and daddy were quite surprised. Ahaha.

Tmr's sports carnival.

CHEER CHEER CHEER!
Practised so darn hard for it. I really hope to win a gold. (and for Jia Yi cos he'll slaughter us if we don't!)

Jiayou kay people?

I'm tired now. I'm hoping to get a tan tmr.
Going swimming with lovelys tmr!

Happy Happy!

the smart, and the stupid;

2010-05-17T20:57:00.002+08:00

I wonder how long before i can see the bloody truth.
I wonder how long before people would just tell me the truth.
I wonder how long before i'd start crying and feeling lousy again.

Hmm. Whats the point of lying anyway? Blast it.

Officially the LAST of THE last paper.
But i'm still not feeling the freedom~

Practised council dance/cheer from 3 to 6. Non stop standing. Couldn't walk home properly. Kinda limped home.
Sigh. Seriously, whats the point?

I'm not seeing the picture you're painting for me):

:O!

2010-05-14T16:34:00.002+08:00

:O!
I've got blisters on my feet now.
Aww..after paper today(shouldn't say how it went), went to Auditorium to have some D&T briefing, WHICH i have totally forgotten what it was about-.-
Muddleheaded me, eh?

Then, gotta meet Joshua.

Slacked at lunch with Cheryl(S).
OHOHOH!I am so proud of myself today.
Cos i finished the TOM YUM noodles!:D

YES! Jingyi, the girl that DIES eating spicy foods has actually ate a bowl of Tom Yum:D

And then i went Bishan with Cheryl L.
Wanted to go catch a movie. But she didn't like any one of them.
So we did window shopping and strolled into Popular.
Saw some pretty nice books. And then we picked it up and started to read.

Gave up standing at Popular.
Went to library instead.
LOL.

Exams are over now.
But i'm still not happy.

And i just realised Cheryl L. owes me ALOT of birthday presents. She's gonna go broke:D

done playing.

2010-05-13T15:39:00.003+08:00

Y'know, actually, i blogged. But then i edited the post. Heehee.
Just now, during brainfood[heehee, i like this word] session, got a text message from owner. Telling me some expected news. Hmm. I should be happy after hearing the news. Somehow i just don't. Should i call it Retribution? Or should i just say that it was meant to be this way? The more i think about it, i really feel like apologising again.

But since i'm supposed to play his way-by pretending i don't know him at all-to make him happy, y'know, as a friend? I shouldn't talk to him. Not even say hi. I DON'T KNOW YOU! But then, chances are, ________'ll never come by and read. So, i guess no harm saying this:
I feel sorry for you. Hope you'll realise your mistake and be a better person. I'm not telling you to be a saint. I'm just saying the old you is still the best(: I added a smiley face.

*sigh*
BUGIS TMR?

2 more to go~

2010-05-12T17:53:00.002+08:00

Oh yes.
There's officially 2 more papers to go~ whee.
OH! Cheryl L suggested going for rollarblading again. Oh no!
If everyone agrees, that means its another round of tailbone-pain ):

-.- I'll never forget the pain that i experienced. Can't we just go for another round of bowling?):

*sigh*
Ah wells, theres chinese tuition later cos theres chinese paper tmr.
Shitzzz-.-

Oh, and the next day is maths. Double shitz (shitzshitz).
Okay, i guess i'd better go off now.

dirty dirty team of ~~biatches~~!♥~

mixed

2010-05-11T12:42:00.002+08:00

Okay okay.

Today, Lit paper. Quite easy luh.(say only. later result come back like kns)
I was chionging the questions all the way. After the paper was over, when i looked up, the whole room was spinning.

Yes. I admit. I'm sick. Think had a slight fever yesterday. And i didn't even finish half of my dinner. Oh yes. I've been giving myself too much pressure and stress as it is already>.<

Urgh.

had my "brainfood" today. Uh, by brainfood i mean Hotcakes at macdonalds.
Oh! I bought HAPPY MEAL today. Just now, I mean. Haha. And the toy? i squirts water.
[AWESOME!]:D I asked Cheryl L. for permission to buy a happy meal. And now, I'm happy. Jingyi is happy after her brainfood. Haha(:

Love you guys for cheering me up and bearing with me in my bad mood this morning.

Major hugs♥

shagged

2010-05-08T23:13:00.002+08:00

Urgh. Today was totally shagged manzczx.
Woke up at 9.45 only to realise that i haven't done my tuition homework yet. Which, started at 11. WHICH also mean i gotta leave the house by 11.30-.-

Chionged like hell.

Oh, and did i EVER mention how F***king annoyed i was yesterday?(i'm gonna stop my bad habbit of cussing.bit by bit)

During d&t,(i'm sorry, but i think i gotta declare war soon) monster helped me with my wood-which by the way, i HAD NOT started on it-and then... YOU were there emoing. Look, i've told you, WANT HIM, GO GET HIM. Stop giving us effing faces every now and then when you think we're FLIRTING with him kayy?? Who in the right mind would EVER flirt with her bestfriend's crush/boyf/stead?!

Please luh, wanna ct patetic or ANYTHING go ahead. WE don't give a damn anymore. And if you think reading this gives you a right to cut yourself, i'll REALLY slap some senses(literally) into your head. I mean it.

Mr Ng asked monster to help me with my wood. Basically, he was the one doing the whole thing for me. Aiyah, i don't care. Eh, monster BEST IN DNT worh! Don't play play..
So okay,after that, monster managed to finish the 2 weeks worth of work in 1 lesson.
Wow, i have one real pro monster. Thanks Aloy. BUT you're still a monster(:

After school had Ms Cheng farewell party. Pics uploaded on owner's profile.
I was in heaven during the party. Pizza+RUFFLES! golly. I think twin almost needed to tie my hands up. LOL.

Then, we had a small talk with Joshua. I shan't say what though [ssh]!

officially free

2010-05-03T11:28:00.002+08:00

Last night, i pleaded to God to help set me free from the pain.
The pain that i knew that if i let go, i'd be free.
Somehow, i couldn't do it by myself. So i prayed to god.
Today, all of a sudden, i feel so much better.

So, i can finally tell the world that i have gotten over you.
I deleted your links, your number, your email and everything about you.
Now, both of us can finally be happy.

you'd love that, won't you?

secret post

2010-05-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

i'm using mummy's lappy to post a secret post:D

I'm also talking to daddy now.

Gonna make this quick: Mothers day performance next week.
Golly, I hope i don't screw up :/

ow.

2010-04-30T15:34:00.002+08:00

gosh, he's so cute~♥

Jingyi's feeling a lil' sick today.
But i'm quite impressed with myself. I didn't study for History paper today cos i was having flu and headache. But i still managed to write one and three quaters page of essay(:

Tsk. Okay, today, i was QUITE depressed [make that VERY] with my english answers. Its all shit.

Went for lunch with J and twin. Talked about our top Bitch list. Woah. I can conclude that Twin can be scary when she's

1. Schemeing
2. Angry
3. Cheeky
4. Plotting an evil plan.

-.-

Nights~

thunderstorm

2010-04-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

Theres a storm now. Outside, and inside.

I wanted to walk home in the rain today. Because, i dunno if you've heard this: I like walking in the rain cos nobody would know i'm crying.

But then, when i thought about it, yeah. crying is awesome without anyone knowing. But the headache and fever that comes after that...mm..not so much.

Had history ssp today. WTH mdm lao is back. Reliefing my class this time for chinese.
mr ng, we really need you back!

Well, tmr is the start of advanced paper. Its all about formats and templates really. no big.

;if we can dictate stories on papers, why can't we do that to our lives?

(no title)

2010-04-25T13:06:00.002+08:00

*thinks*
What am i supposed to type now?

Black Pepper Chicken+ Toasted Bread+ Campbell Soup= My Lunch?
Or should i just start talking crap again?

Shoot. What am i thinking? Jingyi, whats gotten into you?

I'm not gonna let myself down again.
Even though i'm dead, doesn't mean the people around me has to be as well.

So people, keep on living!

i'm trying so hard...

2010-04-23T21:10:00.002+08:00

I've been packing my own reccess everyday. Cos i think its just so awesome. Don't buy reccess=less plastic bags=save mother earth!

I don't wish to sound like some emo freak or something. But some things just can't be helped. When i first heard the news, all i wanted to o was to run. Run away. From everything. Then, i thought that if i ever ran, wouldn't tat just make me a coward? So i stayed. I stayed and i've decided to face the problem. I thought of putting up a brave front and carry on walking. But now, i dunno if i've made the right choice.

During these few days, i so feel like turning around to slap you. Just be lucky, you S.O.B

After all, I AM just a dead girl still breathing. Thats why nobody knew i died.

disorientated

2010-04-22T21:25:00.003+08:00

It doesn't matter to me anymore, cos I give up. I'm not gonna keep trying and keep seeing myself fail time and again.

stop,pause,think.

2010-04-19T22:25:00.002+08:00

I wish i could be in that mood.
Cos i'm FREAKING OUT over this stupid Lit presentation...
Listening to Kesha hopefully to calm myself down. I just heard some bad news.
But i can't feel anything.
By right, any ordinary person would be worrying even more than me. But i just don't feel anything.

I managed to make myself look like my perky self during English and i managed to keep it that way until after i reached home.

Not sure if i'll be able to keep this up though.
I wish someone would break this cold hard stone in my heart.

But then again, its just a WISH.
And wishes don't come true.

cos you'll never know bout love, trashy boy-Kesha.

I'd be lying

2010-04-18T17:17:00.004+08:00

I picked up the guitar and played with it for a little while.

Recently, all i feel is numbness.
And i'm afraid its gonna stay this way for a long long time..

J'ai menti à moi-même pendant une longue période. Mais alors, elle est la seule façon de satisfaire tout le monde...
Bien que la réalité revient à maintes reprises à la terre une gifle cinglante sur mon visage.
Mais là encore, qui s'en soucie?